birth control should be required to get into college
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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