Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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