god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize