I wish my penis had an off switch
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize