16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
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Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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