i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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