why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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