Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
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a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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