yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
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This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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