Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize