goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize