best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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