I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize