so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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