idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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