If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize