There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
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There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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