I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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