Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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