I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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