please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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