so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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