There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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