how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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