He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
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i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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