The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize