He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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