oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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