can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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