WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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