Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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