The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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