living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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