I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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