Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
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But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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