So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
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Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize