lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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