I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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