I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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