he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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