soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize