Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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