She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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