Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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