he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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