we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Drake has all the answers
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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