Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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