So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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