At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize