I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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